My Journey of Being a Femme Lesbian

I created this blog as a safe space for members of the LGBTQ+ community to feel loved and welcomed. This might be a lot for a first post, so grab some popcorn and get comfortable.

Growing up I struggled with my sexuality because homosexuality was generally unaccepted and I was told that lesbians had to have short hair and dress like a boy. How could I be gay if I loved wearing tiaras, the color pink, and makeup?

For so long, I felt like an outcast. All of my friends were obsessing over the newest boy band, while I didn't understand the hype nor find them attractive at all. Does this mean I'm gay? I couldn't be gay, I didn't fit the stereotypes of a lesbian and liking someone of the same sex was a sin. "You're too pretty to be gay." "Lesbians don't wear makeup and heels." I couldn't be gay, right?

I came out to my parents in 2015 and I am extremely lucky that they both were very supportive. Although I knew I liked women, I was still confused how I could be so girly and be a lesbian at the same time. I decided it would be a good idea to start wearing snapbacks and dress more masculine. However, I felt even more like an outcast without makeup and shiny things. Maybe I wasn't gay?

I constantly fought this battle with myself because I didn't look like a lesbian, and how could I be a lesbian if I don't look like one. Eventually I realized that it didn't matter what I was wearing, at the end of the day, I still liked women. Society has programmed us to think that gender and sexuality all has to look a certain way, even though the way we present ourselves on the outside has absolutely nothing to do with what is on the inside.

It took me quite some time to be comfortable with who I am, and even to this day I have some insecurities with people assuming that I am straight. I am engaged to another femme woman and we constantly get asked if we are sisters. Unfortunately, we can't change other people’s assumptions, but we can change the stigma around stereotypes and educate those around us. 

We all are different in so many ways and sometimes society forgets to remember that it is what's on the inside that matters. We are all human and no one can tell you how you need to look or act. I created this safe space not only to share my story, but also for you to be your true authentic self.